By  Willster

Willster goes solo.

As team cash generator and chief tasker, life takes Willster beyond Europe and he was given the task of checking out the trails in Australia. His first step to check out the place was to get an Aussie girlfriend - a most excellent decision. The next step was to actually go there, 5 times in 2 years to be precise

The Place.

Australia is bound to have some great riding, being the size of Western Europe but with only 18 million people means few disputes over land use or access. The downside is that the lack of people means trails are not well trodden so you have to make your own way a lot of the time.

The riding is a good mix of fire roads and technical single track in most of the areas I've been, but don't expect the scale of downhills you find in say France/Italy, you'll mainly find UK scale hills. You'll also find trees, lots and lots of trees, which is good news as it provides cover from the sun.

The Aussies don't seem to have caught on to the idea of maps. There just aren't any Ordnance Survey standard maps - usually all you will get is a photocopy of something about as detailed as a road map but with half the trails missing. The best you can hope for is to find a local bike shop with local books for local folk. The bike shop may also try to sell you 'guns & ammo' in case you need to shoot the occasional 'roo which is blocking the best downhill line.

Most bike shops run twice weekly rides which at first seems like the last thing anyone would ever want to go on but they are the best way to suss out the area. Most of the guys in the shops seem keen to show you around (especially if you turn up with a US$5,000 bike and say you know Steve Peat). The bike shops are generally roadie based but will have MB's as well. Don't expect to get spares for your Hope Disk set up though, the gear is mainly American and a season out of date.

Wildlife.

Lots of it. Far too much in my view. It often seems like you are being followed by someone playing a BBC wildlife sound effects tape. Coming from a place where the most danger you are in is from a rabbit with attitude, Australia is a bit of a shock. Do expect to bunny hop the odd snake and when going down backwoods single track look out for spiders hanging out in their webs across the trails. I'm told that the 1.5 metre lizards (Goanna's) only eat insects but the first time you see one standing in the middle of some single track you will be forgiven for questioning that view. Koalas are by far the most MTB friendly animal, they stay in the trees, sleep 20 hours a day, eat leaves which make them high for 2 hours and shag the other two hours a day, in fact the only danger is if one falls on you. I've never heard of MTB'ers being bitten etc. but then I've seen very few MTB'ers on the trails.

Getting from B to A.

You generally need access to a car wherever you are in Oz but that doesn't seem to be a problem - Oz is a major car society. If you have mates out there it's no problem, my mates seem to have old ones I could borrow or knew people with a spare car etc. and petrol is piss cheap. Alternatively go to the local bar and sell your butt in retun for free car use. Accommodation is cheap with lots of good backpacking hostels and B&B's. Strongly recommended is getting hold of the Lonely Plant Guide, for non MTB activities.

The Bananas.

Bananas- they grow there so this must be a most bananatastic destination, pick them from the trees (a bit green) or buy from roadside stalls, a bit of banana on the side can't be beaten

And at night….

Luckily beer, soft drugs and sex play a major part of a night out so it is fairly hard not to have fun (see comments on people). Being ill in the street is also overlooked, which can prove useful when you say things like "I'm going to show Brisbane how to drink", note Brisbane is fairly proficient in this area. The beer is a cross between lager and bitter but do not what ever you do is ask for Fosters, they send it all to the UK and for good reason. Nobody in Oz drinks it. Beware of people who ask you to get them a pint of it - they are setting you up, and the whole bar will wet itself at the Pomme

The beer comes in stubbies, schooners and occasionally pints - schooners are not ships of sherry glasses but our equivalent off a half - fine for girls but a lot of Aussie blokes also drink from them.

The People.

Aussie girls are great, they are friendly and think us Yorkshiremen are well travelled and sophisticated. Generally Aussies are about as MTB friendly as a country can get, they are relaxed and don't care too much about who's bit of dirt you are riding over.

The Weather.

Hot - damn hot. They say winter is best as it is just too hot in summer - "arse", I say. Summer in Sydney/Melbourne is great (30+). Brisbane and further North are v. hot and humid but being a Yorkshireman enabled me to ride there in summer - however, do take at least 5 litres of water on a day's ride (Camelback plus two bottles). It is also a good idea to train first - something like putting on a wet-suit and riding an exercise bike in the sauna should do it. The central deserts are just that, so I stayed on the coast.

Places Willster Cycled.

Sydney

Most people will start their holiday here and it is no bad thing. There is great MTB'ing all around Sydney - much more than you would ever imagine.

South is the Royal National Park which is massive and next to the sea. The Ranger Station has reasonable maps which helps. North is Kurungai Chase which is smaller. It has nice single track but not very loopy so you either turn round at the end or swim across lagoons with your bike which I can assure you was not a great idea - very wet mobile phone and camera.

East are the Blue Mountains which are full of great trails, the best I found in Oz. The most famous is the Oaks Fire trail which utilises a railway to give you good height gain, offers good downhill and swimming pools to cool down in. There is actually an MTB guide book which includes this trail - most bike shops have it.

In a city of 4 million there are lots of MB shops, my local was on Oxford Street and being in the gay district of Sydney had the name of Whoolys Wheels. Good if you like to see lots of boys in lycra.

Brisbane.

A few good areas to ride but not as good as the Sydney area. A late evening ride up Mount Cootha (the hill outside town with the TV masts on) is a laugh - tarmac up single track down. Brisbane Forest is okay but has the Aussie version of Peak Park ranger "do you know you shouldn't be cycling here" types. Luckily I had my mate's Danish girlfriend's State Forest cycling permit with me. But this was the only time I've heard the word 'permit' muttered. Other cycling can be found in Toohys forest (just south) and north in the Glass House Mountains.

Byron Bay.

Three hours south of Brisbane is the surfing and hippy centre of the East Coast. Be prepared to be bombarded with more herbal medicine and homeopathy's than you ever knew existed. A nice start to the day is a swim as all the hippy chicks get naked to celebrate the sunrise on the beach. This is a great place to go as there are lots of relaxed people, cheap places to stay, excellent surf and brilliant riding.

Shut down all your tasking functions when you get here or you will be unable to communicate with the stoned residents. More dope to be had than you can imagine. The local bike shop runs twice weekly rides, which based on the guy we met in the shop will no doubt be very relaxed!

The best cycling is inland near Mullumbimby, the local cycle shop there (True Wheel Cycles Tel No.+61 66 84 1959,107 Dalley Street, Mullumbimby 2482 ) is very MB friendly and does rides Thursday and Sunday from 40km+. The hills around Minyon Falls are full of great fire roads and single track with long descents which can be done time after time if you have a car. We saw plenty of snakes and small kangaroos, which was nice.

Cairns.

Home of the Mud Cows crew - one of whom I met in a bike shop - good guys who offered to take me on the trails, luckily I was leaving that day so I'm still alive. You've all seen the videos and there is lots of riding to be done. The Worlds downhill course is about 5km north of town and is a great intro to the area. Lots of riding but go to a bike shop to find out where is best.

Hot in summer but next to the Barrier Reef for diving etc. Lots of sugar cane if you like jumping into tall sharp stuff.

Far North Queensland.

Further north you get into serious rain forest and crocodile land. I hired a bike at Cape Tribulation and headed off into the bush trying to avoid the streams and rivers as my Park Tool doesn't have a Croc killing attachment! There are bikes to hire but they cost less than my clipless pedals which I failed to put onto the rusty steel cranks (enough said). But US $5 a day ain't bad. The riding up here is wild with trees bigger than big things and empty beaches which would be even better if you had other sorts of riding to do - I did say the Aussie girls were friendly.

Melbourne.

Melbourne is spread over a large area and the MTB'ing is typically 2 hours out of town, which in Australia is just at the end of the street. Being fairly far south it has less wildlife to eat unsuspecting MTB'ers which makes it a good area in my book! The best places being:

The Grampians - like the lake district but with lots more trees, less sheep, hardly any lakes and different sorts of hills - well it had the feel of the lakes. Lots of great single track and fire trails. Bike shop in Halls Gap has details.

The ski area of Mount Bulla has a great combination of road climbs and trail descents - well worth a visit.

Possums.

Possums are small furry marsupial type creatures with pointy ears and fat blobby bodies. They have absolutely no connection with mountain biking in Oz whatsoever apart from the fact that they are champion banana gobblers and make a satisfying 'yelp-sqeek' noise if you run over them at speed. Oz and possum pie - both highly recommended by Willster. So go buy a bike bag and get down under!