Who are you and
why do you look like that?
 Where on Planet Mirth?
London, England.
Hails from: Sheffield, Yorkshire, England.
Official Membership Status: Chief Whip and
Officer for Buffoonery.
Would like to be know as: In Control.
Getting Any? My Girlfriend says thats a rude
question.
Occupation: Mr Motivator or Complete Team ARSE
depending upon Banana Moral.
Me in fast Pants (click to view)
Your Biology? Why do smell of
chip fat?
Age: 29 (looks 17)
Height: 6’ dead. 1.82m.
Weight: 11 ˝ stone. 74Kg.
Direction of ‘Dress’: Left.
Direction of dress when winter cycling in the Peaks: Errrrr, Tweezer time?
Distinguishing Features: Defoliated in freak
accident with canister of Ben Shaw’s agent orange - Feb. 92’
Marzipan Matters(Don’t be
bashful)
Favourite thing to do with a Banana:
Mars bar a la Marianne Faithful..
Dream Babe: Liv Tyler.
Dream Bike: Something exoctic and American and
titanium.....
Marzipan Fantasy: Liv Tyler, love, lots of cash
and a shit load substances.
Shredding History(History or
just a tall tails?)
How long have you had your leg over?
Over 4 years
What is leg currently over and are you happy? K2
5000, Reasonably.
Most joyous mountain bike experience: Standing
on the podium as the Champion of Turkey 95’. You just had to be there boys.
Most joyous descent: Into occasional
depravity...
Most joyous climb: Chapel Gate.
Most hated climb: Chapel Gate.
Most joyous single track: The 7" version of
Eight Miles high by Husker Du.
Most memorable wipe-out: Frolicking down happy a
Alpine meadow with Willster when our bar ends ruck and I fly and land on my chest on
Willsters back wheel which launches me into the air once more and brings down Willster.
Result, knackered Girvin Forks, one angry Willster, one laughing Team Banana and 'One
Wildgripper Tattoo' across my poor sore chest.
Most memorable wipe-out witnessed by you:
Willster. 25 mph and his first taste of Italian rubble as he hit a loose right hander
mucho fasto and went dooowwwn in a cloud of flying rocks. Serious Chest and arse bacon. No helmet on
either. Cheered me up for the rest of the day that did.
What tricks can you do? (That’s tricks on
your bike - not with your tongue): My ego is capable of everything, but my arse is
capable of much more.
Ambitions, Aspirations and
Commitment to a Banana Brighter future. (Why should the planet bother with you?)
Where will you be 1 year, 5 years
and 30 years from now? In a bar, wondering where Ill be 1 year, Five years and 30
years from now.
Where do Bananas fit into your plans? I think
they taste good in Kellogg’s Fruit and Fibre.
What commitment will you make to the goals of Team
Banana Racing? I am honour bound to be support the teams efforts to do whatever we
get up to.
Where do Bananas fit into this commitment?
Bananas will be consumed on every occasion we find ourselves eating them.
Why should I give you the time of day loser?
Because I know all the words to «In Dublin’s fair City».
Summary of a Lost Soul.
Spice Category: Ginger Spice.
Who would play you in your life story: Rob Lowe.
Most likely to say: «Anyone seen my wallet?».
Least likely to say: «These condoms have gone
past there due date».
Phrase to live by: «Don’t trust any
bastard who doesn’t drink» - Humphrey Bogart.
Favourite Banana/s: Doles, greener rather than
yellower.
Surf on dudes (my prefered
bananatastic sites)
Scotts' Virtua
Image Archive - My photo album on the web! - |
Me in fast Pants (click to view)