Who are you and
why do you look like that?
 Where on Planet Mirth? TBR
Secret Base, Somewhere near Castleton.
Hails from: Somewhere, over the
rainbow.....way up high......
Official Membership Status: El Presidente!
Would like to be know as: Sir!
Getting Any? Wasting my sacred Chi on
anything but blessing World Domintaion Initiatives would be sacrelidge.
Occupation: El Presidente!
Your Biology? Why do you smell of
chip fat?
Age: 1999.
Height: Height is unimportant, ask Napoleon.
Weight: I refuse to be dictated to by
gravity and other purile physical laws of nature.
Direction of ‘Dress’: Left AND
Right at the same time (a happy genetic accident).
Direction of dress when Winter cycling in the Peaks:
Always Profound and always Profund, thats me!
Distinguishing Features: A rather dashing
moustache and goatee, if I do say so myself.
Marzipan Matters(Don’t be
bashful)
Favourite thing to do with a Banana: Dominate the World.
Dream Babe: The Banana Mother.
Dream Bike: Fruity Flyer #1
Marzipan Fantasy: I will only fantasise of
mortal sex when mortals are living in a Banana future.
Shredding History(History or
just a tall tails?)
How long have you had your leg over? Happily pursuing World
Domintaion since 1945.
What is leg currently over and are you happy?
Fruity Flyer #1, Exstatic.
Most joyous mountain bike experience:
Flying on the Fruity Flyer #1 and leaving all earthly thoughts below me.
Most joyous descent: Into the depths of my
genius.
Most joyous climb: Climb? I
"ascend" through the shear power of my will.
Most hated climb: Hate is a word I reserve
for eaters of the Orange and the Apple .
Most joyous single track: The trail
down from the Shivering Mountain to my local massage parlor.
Most memorable wipe-out: By the pre-ordaine
power vested in me by the Holy Banana Mother (Praises be unto her and blessed be her name)
I have and never will never be bothered by such mortal frailties and failures as crashing.
Most memorable wipe-out witnessed by you: I
cry and shudder with abject dismay whenever I see one of my disciples deviate from the
path of truth and "come a right cropper". T'is only their lack of faith in the
power of the Banana Mother Godess (Praises be unto her and blessed be her name) which
cause these unfortunate incidents of "Dirt eating action". Of course I must
punish them for such faithlessness. I find flambeéd TCP laced with Benzine most effective
at purifiing the wound and concentrating and cleansing the mind.
What tricks can you do? (That’s
tricks on your bike - not with your tongue): Such buffonery is left to my
disciples.
Ambitions, Aspirations and
Commitment to a Banana Brighter future. (Why should the planet bother with you?)
Where will you be 1 year, 5 years and 30 years from now? In
a bar planning the revolution that will start at closing time, in a palace planning the
downfall of Asia, and finally sat along side the Banana Mother Godess looking over the
world from our Banana Nirvana and sharing a Ginster together.
Where do Bananas fit into your plans? You
mean, how do my plans fit into Bananas?
What commitment will you make to the goals of Team
Banana Racing? I will make them almighty, all conquering and pretty good at
playing Scrabble...
Where do Bananas fit into this commitment? Once
again my friend, the question should be reversed. We start with the banana and all paths
lead from it.
Why should I give you the time of day loser?
What!! You have approximately 10 seconds left to live.....
Summary of a Lost Soul.
Spice Cat....eragahgh...euchrgrg.....agghhhh. My sole is not
lost - it is found! And so I refuse to continue answer your snivelling questions. Any way
you appear to have died... |
